This is my disclaimer: this post is not for everyone, I’m ok with that. I’m just sharing something that had an incredible impact on our little family’s life recently. This is my personal experience with hiring a sleep consultant and some answers to frequently asked questions I’ve had as I’ve found myself talking about this often with friends and strangers, it’s one tired mama’s perspective, no judgement or mom shame, simply what worked for us in this season of our life. Over and out!
If you’d asked my naive pre-baby self what I thought about babies and sleep I would have brushed you off and said something like “Sleep is SOOOO VERY important to me, gotta have your beauty sleep! My children will be great at it, but they’ll need to flexible too because we are an on-the-go family. Basically they’ll go with the flow and just have to have sweet pleasant attitudes no matter what.”
Oh, bless my heart!
Then I became a mother. Of a real baby.
Hugo was an amazing sleeper until around 8 months old, at that age something changed, he hit a regression and really started to wake up. He began nursing every 3 hours around the clock and was waking 3-5 times per night. I can’t remember ever being that tired, Josh was traveling extensively while marketing I Can Only Imagine and I felt so depleted. I dreaded falling asleep at night because I knew I’d be woken up in 2 hours. Most nights I’d let Hugo sleep in our bed, hoping that would give me a bit of a break. It did not and he was eating even more frequently. I read books, talked to friends, called my mom almost daily and googled non-stop.
I was really lost. He’s just turned 1 and was completely reliant on me for falling asleep. Traditional advice was telling me to stop nursing and start feeding him real food because he was waking from hunger. I felt deeply that this wasn’t true in our case and I really wanted to nurse him exclusively for as long as possible. I contacted my local Le Leche League, and while they were so encouraging of my plan, they were also happy with the night feedings and said to keep them up. But my gut told me that there had to be something in the middle.
One day, probably while I was nursing (for real), I was scrolling through Instagram and found a glowing review of Becca Campbell at Little Zs Sleep. It seemed a little silly to me but the caption was so humble and hit a nerve with me “we didn’t have the answers, so we asked for help, it’s okay to get help”. I clicked over, lured by a free sleep newsletter and the next morning found a direct video message in my inbox from Becca, introducing herself and offering to help in any way she could. I figured I had nothing to lose at this point and poured out my heart about my non-sleeping munchkin. She replied right away and promised to help.
In the spirit of honesty, I mulled this over for several days. I felt like such a failure that I needed someone else to teach my baby how to sleep. I felt like some kind of snowflake and “can’t even”, I mean, what did mothers of years past do when their babies couldn’t sleep (I just can’t see Caroline Ingalls from Little House on The Prairie throwing up her hands in defeat). Josh knew how much we needed this and as it turns out, admitting you need help can really feel good sometimes. We were ready to make this thing happen.
Josh was traveling the week we started but I was desperate and Becca was instantly on my side (via the internet). She listened to my goals, helped me make a plan and walked me through everything. I expected the worst that first night, but within 45 minutes of bedtime, Hugo had fallen asleep on his own for the first time in his life. The next night he fell asleep within 15 minutes and the third night he curled up in his bed without protest and slept for 12 hours straight. I think I cried. Becca and I stayed in close contact for the first 2 weeks and I couldn’t believe what a change it made in our lives. I figured out almost immediately that the sleep issues weren’t with Hugo, they were with me. I was preventing him from sleeping well.
It’s been 6 months since we first hired Little Zs Sleep and Hugo is still going strong. We’ve found that his sweet spot is closer to 6:30pm to 6am and some days we cheat a little on our bedtime routine, but for the most part, he is doing amazing! He’s sleeping 11-12 hours per night with about a 2 hour nap in the afternoons. We’ve been able to keep this up through travel, time zones and busy schedules.
FAQs
What was the single most important change that you had to make in order for Hugo to sleep?
Setting a bedtime routine. It was our way of teaching and letting him know when it’s time for bed. At 6:30pm we give him a bath, I nurse him, put on his pjs and then we play and read books until 7pm. Then he goes into bed, with sound machine on and blackout drapes closed, we pray with him and say goodnight. We do this little routine no matter where we are and he rewards us by sleeping through the night.
What exactly did Becca do for you? Did she come live at your house?
While you can certainly find in-home consultants, we worked virtually with Becca and had great success. We booked a group consulting, and ended up being her only client that week, so I benefited from one on one coaching. Becca has a 45 minute webinar that I watched that first day and a few simple pages of “homework” to fill out, everyday I would check in with her via Instagram and then by phone 4 times over 2 weeks. I even reached out to her a few weeks ago with a question and she responded immediately. What Becca did was teach ME how to teach my baby to sleep, I was truly the one that needed sleep training.
Can’t I just find this same advice in a book? Why do I need to hire someone?
You can. And I’d come across a lot of similar information in my research, but I also had several unanswered questions and needed something more. There are many different books and methods, it’s just about finding what works best for your child and fits with your family’s goals. Hiring a real person means that you’ll get advice tailored to your situation.
This sounds expensive, how much are we talking here?
There are all kinds of price points for this kind of service. From virtual coaching to in-home, and depending on the location of your coach. I was a little leery at first, but can promise you that this was the best money we’ve ever spent and the cost has never come up in discussion. For us it was 100% worth it and an investment into the health of our family.
Is this the cry-it-out method? I refuse to do that to my child.
Listen, I hear you. I really didn’t want that either and loved the approach that Becca took. There was some crying as Hugo was learning to put himself to sleep, but it was not at all terrible. In fact, that was easier than getting him to sleep when both Josh and I were “helping” him. What we did was, every time we put him to bed, we close the door and set a timer for 10 minutes. If he is still fussing or crying after that, we check on him, talk to him and then lay him back down, close the door and do it again. He will rarely fuss longer than 30 seconds before he’s sound asleep. We have had a few night-frights or times when he was sick and for me, when that happens, the rules go out the window. I’m ok with him being mad that it’s bedtime, I’m not ever going to be ok with my child being afraid or in pain.
This seems so routine and I structured, that’s not my style, is there any way around that?
It really depends on you and your baby. All families are not alike and it’s ok to want something different for your people. I was hoping that Hugo would adapt better to a changing environment, but we learned the hard way that he THRIVES on a solid sleep schedule. He doesn’t let us forget it either! By 6:35pm he’s usually cross-eyed, weepy and all but asking to go to bed, he will lay his head on my shoulder the second I turn his sound machine on.
Did Becca really make you throw away his pacifier?!?
Yep! Again, it’s not for everyone, but I was going to do whatever she told me and tossing the pacifier was tops on her list (it was very important to her that Hugo learn to fall asleep without any help). I was planning to give it back to him when we were done with out coaching session (Sorry, Becca!), but he never asked and was almost immediately over it, so we never went back.
And there you have it, this is how hiring a sleep consultant changed our lives! I can’t speak highly enough about Little Z’s Sleep (check out her email newsletter and podcast too!), you won’t regret reaching out to her with your questions.
Have you ever hired a sleep consultant? Would you consider it?
I'd love to hear from you, leave a comment below!