Life at home…

Disclaimer: I know that the topic of quarantine and COVID19 are particularly sensitive. Every person who is living through this has their own experiences, many of them negative.  It is not my desire to ever be insensitive or hurtful, I’m just sharing part of my life here (and a tiny part at that) and hoping that someone else feels not so alone in this.

I saw a meme the other day that said…

“I need to set a daily routine.”   -Me, every day for the past month

Isn’t that the honest truth.

I wish that the last few weeks of my life were spent being cozy at home.  Living in a soft nest of domestic bliss.  Josh and I sitting around sipping bottomless cups of coffee, in pajamas while he answered emails from our couch and I baked cinnamon rolls and our toddler was entertained for hours with a simple coloring book.  My house was perfectly organized and cleaned because of all the “extra” time I’ve had and of course, we’re burning all the good candles.  But it’s not, not a bit of this is my current reality and I hope you know that if you are struggling with finding your way through these strange days, trying to be “normal” for your family, it’s ok.  I’m struggling too.

Being completely honest here, the stay at home order has really stunk for us.  Every theater in the country closed a few days after our movie released.  Instead of celebrating our film and enjoying downtime as a family, Josh was immediately thrown into managing a whole new crisis.  While my husband has been putting in long days at his office (socially distanced, of course) I’ve been home with a little a potty training toddler and no breaks, no babysitter, no gym, no quick trips to the store, nothing.  We missed out on spending Easter with our family.  One of the harder things to deal with has been not knowing how long or how severe this will be.  Waking up every morning and feeling like its Groundhog Day and there’s no light at the end of the tunnel.  I hate it.

It’s a heavy time, the suffering and pain is hard to come to grips with.  People are angry and afraid and I hate going out in public because I can see all of that on their faces.

I’m not sure that this little post has any point to it, I know it’s a little complain-y, but it’s also what’s on my heart and my own experience during this time in history.

I will say that there are always good things to be found, we’ve had a lot of goodness in our life in the middle of this… Our new house has been such a blessing, we’ve had the time to unpack and settle in, and our neighborhood is perfectly walkable. Josh is still working and busy as ever, I don’t think he’s gone this long without traveling in the last 10 years. I have a sourdough starter on my counter (something I’ve wanted to do for a long time!) and have been making all. things. sourdough.  Sticking to our budgets has been easy since we can’t go anywhere (haha!).  And we’re healthy and safe.

I hope you and yours are well.  How are you doing during this quarantine season?